RFW #30

Friday, January 27, 2012

I got my idea for this weeks Romantic Friday Writers concept over a week ago, but didn't write it early because I wanted to see if I could integrate the 3WW words into the excerpt.  I've been successful in the past in combining blogfest prompts; but not this time.  I think I managed it before because the three words were the priority, and I worked a second plot theme around them.

This time however, I already had a plot concept in mind for Learning To Dance After Its Over, and I just couldn't work all three words into the theme.  Bubble was the only one I could get, and that's probably 'cuz it fit the setting anyway.  But, the prompt author Jules Preston also advises us to "consider setting, music and dance" in the writing.  Well, there is no music or dancing in my excerpt.  Not even a metaphorical implication.

Have you ever failed at a specific writing concept, but was still pretty proud of the end result?

My interpretation of this week's RFW prompt is "moving on"; which is probably why I couldn't find a way to expand on the last posting of New Years Resolutions with a followup in the girl's perspective.  I really wanted to write an alternate perspective.  The "Learning To Dance" prompt has been up at the RFW site for about 4 weeks, and I think I started writing the below excerpt in my head the moment I saw it.

You ever have a story concept pretty much take over your writing life; so much that you had to push everything aside and work on it so it would quit nagging at you?

Brenda came fully formed with an entire future history.  Like: flash, there it all is.  No wonder it took me nearly a month to write her brief 394 word delimma.  I'm titling this WILL THE KIDS BE THERE.
* * *

Memories flowed like digital ripples across the electronic photo album.  Brenda sighed as a heart breaking picture of her two brunette daughters froze in a perpetual hug against their father.

“Was that a yes,” her new boyfriend Dale asked from the nearly forgotten cell phone against her ear.

“I’m still thinking,” Brenda answered. 

Her tongue felt thick with indecision, and she soothed her conscious with an awkward sip of wine. A white bubble expanded across her computer screen, then popped and started to grow again.  Her left hand clutched the stem of her glass, her right hand hovered near the mouse.  Giving in to the urge to check her e-mail again, Brenda let the phone slide from the nook between her head and shoulder, catching it in her right hand.

“Hang on,” she loudly advised Dale as she set the wineglass on the desk and scooted the roller chair closer to the monitor.

She transferred the cell to her other hand, placed it against her ear again, and shook the mouse.  Instantly the screen showed her inbox.  No new messages.

“Uhm,” she groaned, so frustrated she slammed both fists into the keyboard.

“Brenda –“

“Oh, sorry,” she said, again too loudly as she realized the tiny cell phone was attached to her hand.  She sat up and brought the device back to her ear.  “I’m just, just not –“

“Will the kids be there?”

“What?”

“Your girls.  It’s ok, you know.  If you want to bring them.  I’d, I’d love to meet them.  Dawn and Breanne, right?”

Brenda made all sorts of horrible faces, and was glad she couldn’t see herself in a mirror to verify the intended effect.  Dale sounded both hesitant and pleading and she didn’t want to know if he hoped to meet her kids or not.  She’d been brutally honest on the dating site’s profile, despite the helpful advice against certain disclosures.  Brenda was still bitter, even after two years of divorce, and wasn’t convinced online dating was the right solution for her.

But neither was pining for a life that had clearly ended.

Dale seemed courteous enough on their two previous dates.  She wasn’t used to a man that listened and smiled.

Brenda clicked the refresh, but there was still no reply e-mail confirming George was picking up his kids this weekend.  She’d have to make a decision soon.

* * *
My normal disclaimer after an RFW excerpt is that this is an original writing specifically for this prompt, and while all critique is acceptable, it may not be developed past this prompt.  HOWEVER, this time I might just use Brenda and her situation in a longer piece.   So your critiquing feedback is doubly encouraged.

I'll apologize in advance for the lame ending.  My preferred ending went to at least 500 words, which would be well over word limit for this challenge.  Feel free to tell me where you think this scene should go/end.  We're just having fun, ya know.  I enjoy shared story concepts.

And if you don't feel like offering comments on the excerpt, perhaps you'd tell me what you think of online dating, or what your dating experiences have been (on-or-off line), or even what you consider the biggest obstacles to today's dating are.

And did I remember to supply you with the linky to other RFW #30 posts that are bound to more accurately follow the prompt concept?  Remember, RFW is open to all writers, and you do not have to join the club to post your own submission.  This weeks linky closes on 1/29 for judging purposes.  Feb 3's challenge is "The Perfect 9.5"

Thanks for hanging out a while :)