Friday, June 3, 2011
Well here I go again, combining two awesome writing events so I don't have to decide which to participate in.
Three Word Wednesday (3WW) is a weekly writing prompt that posts three random words on Wednesdays. All genre's and content welcome, and you have a week to post your submission, but you must use all three words in your excerpt, and link directly back to the post. No word limits.
Romantic Friday Writers is the creation of Francine Howarth and L'Aussie Denise. There is a different theme each Friday, but the guidelines are to write in 400 words or less, link directly to the post at the RFW site, and post a link and the logo on your entry.This weeks RFW theme is "I remember." This weeks 3WW words are: erratic, luminous, omen.
Wanda approached the computer with caution. She’d avoided all glimpses of herself since the accident. Clovis was kind enough to change the screen saver so the photo reminders disappeared, but sometimes the light captured a vague image, stirring reminders. She closed her eyes, pushed the button, and counted out the seconds for the blue screen to load.
Her memory was unstable, fading and overwhelming at erratic moments. She saw his face, felt his touch, his breath in the crook of her neck. His warm lips brushing her’s in the heat of her morning coffee. At times emotions flowed unbidden like a tidal wave over her, pulling her heart into a ragged, limping burden in her chest.
Then she’d be an empty shell for days; but at least she could work. Codes filled the blank spaces where he intruded; nameless and voiceless.
Lost in her world of bytes and pixels, Wanda paid no attention to the folders she opened. Words without meaning until she inserted them in their proper place. Then one assaulted the fragile hold on the reality she’d painstakingly built for weeks.
Hale.
Pictures of a life unlived filtered through her shattered psyche. She traced the scars on her chin and cheek, the chewed remnant of her left ear. Patches of hair that would never grow back. She drew shaky fingers through the shortened brown links, feeling Hale’s graceful strokes.
The tears she cried were the same as the night he asked her to marry him, up in the cabin on the lake. It was dusk, they were on the porch. An owl hooted.
“Who will you be?” Hale cooed in the now missing ear.
Not an easy choice, despite her love for Hale. She had her own career plans, and they didn’t include a leg up from her boss turned husband. She turned her face into his shoulder; the two of them looking so in love and perfect together glanced back from the picture window.
Perhaps it was an omen that the reflection was insubstantial. In the next instant, a bat tangled in her hair; razor talons slashing and ripping, its screams mixing with her own. Suddenly the wings and claws were gone, and she crumpled to the deck in agony. A scream that wasn’t her own rent the air, pulling her from the threatening blackness.
Everything went silent as the bat lifted off Hale, dripping blood from teeth and talons. And Hale lie bleeding from his neck. Pale moonlight pierced his luminous green eyes. His lids closed, and so did Wanda’s.
She closed her eyes now, but the image didn’t disperse, and she could not pass out this time to avoid the pain of his loss.


30 comments:
A fascinatating and evocative piece, Donna - I didn't see that coming! A bat! I've never come across the name Hale before, it instantly conjures, doesn't it?
Hello Donna.
This is my first time here from Romantic Friday Writers.
This tale had me in its grips from beginning to end.
I really felt Wanda's pain & loss.
Your description of her disfigurement was quite vivid.
Oh! What a twist at the end...totally didn't see that one coming!
I really enjoyed this.
Thanks for sharing.
Vivid, compelling, surreal almost; and what a surprise to finish with. I liked this a lot!
Hi,
Tragic piece and compelling read! That's what makes for a good book. ;)
best
F
Great story Donna. I thought about a dog attack but was surprised by a bat. Now I want to know what happened to Hale? Did he abandon her because of her injuries? Well written.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium
Great, riveting job here. Wow. A bat, huh? A bat would be a fearsome thing to be attacked by. Evocative and haunting as always. Roland
Great piece, Donna. I have started enjoying these Romantic Friday posts.
Intrigued by the story.
One thing threw me out, just a trifle: "She drew shaky fingers through the shortened brown links, feeling Hale’s graceful strokes." Can you make it locks, instead of links? Because in the paragraph before she's been writing code and dealing with bytes, and my head was still in computer-land. (Actually, strokes could be taken for keystrokes, too, now that I think about it.)
Definitely wasn't expecting the bat, who doesn't sound like an ordinary bat...?
Right up until the end I thought it would be a car accident. That was one heck of a bat. Great use of three words. Here is my attempt.
I loved this, Donna. Especially the heart being pulled until it was a ragged mess...been there. Felt that.
Wonderful excerpt.
Edge of Your Seat Romance
Never saw the bat coming. This is a piece by itself. Or it could be the beginning of a longer story.
Wow! That's one bad ass bat.
...pulling her heart like a ragged limping burden in her chest.
Good stuff
Great imagery here, took me to many places.
I am officially terrified of bats now.
Great story. I winced when I read about the chewed remnants of her ear.
Poor girl.
3WW sounds interesting. I'll have to check it out.
(Here from the RTW.)
Okay, can I just say WOW! That was fantastic. So much story in so few words. I was curious in the beginning what tragedy befell her. I thought fire, car accident, the usual...then to find it was a bat! Oh yeah, Donna, that was fantastic!! And I love the name Hale. Very strong mental image. Great Great job. Nicely done.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I was worried it would be too dark. I'm so glad the bat worked. Just the though of one gives me the creeps.
Bev; thanks for suggestions. I see your points :)
I'll be stopping by to visit everyone over the weekend.
......dhole
I thought I'd scream while I was reading the story!
Naughty, Donna, very naughty :)
Fantastic. What a great story. =D
Hello again, Donna.
Thanks for commenting & joining the VIP Lounge over at my blog. I shall add you to my blogroll as soon as Blogger permits.
In the meantime, I like to welcome new guests to the Lounge with a glass of pink champagne (smile).
See you soon!
Donna! What a great little flashy tale. You inserted the hook right at the start and kept me wondering what had happened. Way to go girl! A couple of little grammar mistakes said the English teacher but you'd probably pick them up if you re read.
Love the way you did double whammy as I did this week with #Romantic Friday WRiters and #friday flash. No time to write 2 stories each week!
So thanks for participating Donna. Love having a writer of your calibre on board. You've probably noticed there's some very good RFWers which makes the weekends a joy of reading.
Denise<3
Hi, Donna,
Good thing there aren't any bats around here. Terrible to thing to have to remember, both the depth of their love and commitment and the loss of her lover. Well done.
Riveting. I kind of knew she was going to fall to pieces. I was just read on to see when. Its very clear something was hurting and haunting her. Well crafted, Donna.
~MsQ
You just made my day Dezz; thanks :)
Thanks Rashelle
De-licious Andy; I'm honored.
Thanks Denise :) No, I doubt I would spot the grammar mistakes, and I'm glad I can count on you to point them out. RFW is collecting some awesome writers. I'm glad its going so well.
Thanks JL :)
I'm glad you finished it MsQ. Nice to meet you :)
.......dhole
Wonderful story, Donna. I love the dark side of things so I thought it was perfect.
Dark, unexpected, and fantastically descriptive. There are many wonderful elements is this short piece Donna. Very impressive.
I like donnahole.blogspot.com , bookmarked for future reference
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This is an incredible story, beautifully told and the female characters pain was so realistic. The end was unexpected indeed. Heart-breaking and simply stunning
A bat got him? that was some bat.Great story
Oh I like the idea of avoiding the screen reflection like a mirror. It gripped me throughout :O)
Wow...I just dig your name, so I thought I'd stop by!
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